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REBELLION AGAINST HUSBAND

This is based on the book “al-Kabaair” by Imam Shamsuddin az-Zahabi, later on edited and expanded as “The Seventy Major Sins”. It is expected to read with the broader picture without opening doors to Shaitaan (Satan) and negative thoughts.

Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta'aalaa) says:

وَٱلَّٰتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهۡجُرُوهُنَّ فِي ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضۡرِبُوهُنَّۖ فَإِنۡ أَطَعۡنَكُمۡ فَلَا تَبۡغُواْ عَلَيۡهِنَّ سَبِيلًاۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّٗا كَبِيرٗا (34)

“As for women of whom you fear rebellion, convince them, and leave them apart in beds, and beat them. Then, if they obey you, do not seek a way against them. Surely, Allah is the Highest, the Greatest.” (an-Nisaa 4:34)

The Prophet, Hadhrat Muhammah (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “When a man calls his wife to his bed and she does not come, if he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

Another version from Bukhari and Muslim is: “When a woman does not spend the night in her husband’s bed, and refuses him, then He who is in heaven (i.e. Allah) remains displeased with her, till her husband has reconciled with her.” (Muslim)

Hadhrat Jabir related: “There are three people whose Salaah (Prayers) will not be accepted by Allah, nor do any good deed of theirs risen up to heaven: a fleeing slave until he returns to his master and helps him, a woman whose husband is angry with her until he is pleased with her, and a drunkard until he becomes conscious.” (Ibn Hibbaan)

The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “The first things a woman is called to account for on the Day of Judgment are her Salaah and her (relations with her) husband.” (As-Suyuti in Al-Jami Al-Kabir)

The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “It is not lawful for a woman to observe Sawm (Nafl i.e Optional Fast) when her husband is present, except by his permission nor permit anyone into his house except with his permission.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “Had it been permissible that a person make Sajdah (Prostrate) himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife make Sajdah herself before her husband.” (Tirmizi, Abu Daawood, Ibne Maajah and Ahmad)

Hussain Ibn Muhsan’s aunt mentioned her husband to the Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) who said: “Evaluate yourself concerning your husband for he is your Jannah (Paradise) or Jahannam (Hell-Fire).” (Ahmad and Al-Haakim)

The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “Allah will not look at a woman who is ungrateful to her husband, while she is unable to do without him.” (Al-Haakim)

The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “Whoever leaves her husband’s house (without his permission), the angels curse her until she returns or repents.” (Al-Munziri in At-Targheeb wat-Tarheeb)

The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Jannah.” (Tirmizi, Ibne Maajah and Al-Haakim)

Thus, it is obligatory for a woman to respond to her husband anytime and anywhere unless she has a legal excuse, menstruation or the like.

The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “When a man sends for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she may be occupied in baking bread (cooking food).”(Tirmizi)

It is unlawful to approach a woman during the time of her menstruation as stated by Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta'aalaa):

فَٱعۡتَزِلُواْ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فِي ٱلۡمَحِيضِ وَلَا تَقۡرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّىٰ يَطۡهُرۡنَۖ

“So, keep away from women during menstruation; and do not have intimacy with them until they are cleansed.”(al-Baqarah 2:222)

The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “Whoever has intercourse with a menstruating women, or with a woman in her back passage, or goes to a fortuneteller, has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad.” (Tirmizi, Abu Daawood, Ibne Maajah)

This also applies to post natal bleeding.

A woman should keep in mind that there are some rights towards her husband she should observe. She should not spend out of his money, or do anything without permission. She also should not revile or disgust him.

Al-Asma’i recounted, once I was passing by a desert and as met a very beautiful woman who had an ugly husband. I asked her, how did you accept him a husband? She said, give me your ear! He might have kept a good relation with Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta'aalaa) and thus He made me a reward to him. On the other hand, I might have disobeyed Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta'aalaa) and thus he made him my punishment.

The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “Your heavenly wife is the kind who, when her husband hurts comes close to her husband, puts her hand in his and says, I’ll never sleep until you are pleased.”(Al-Haithami)

A woman should also be loyal before her husband, lower her gaze before him, keep silent when he speaks, stand when he comes, or leaves, offer herself when he sleeps, perfume herself, brush her teeth (with Siwak), be adorned in his accompany, leave aside what annoys him in his presence like slandering or in absence like treachery in bed, property or home, honor his family and kinsmen, and be content of what he brings however little.

A woman who fears Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta'aalaa) should do her best to obey Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta'aalaa) and her husband and seek his pleasures because he himself is her Jannah or Jahannam. The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Jannah.”

“If a woman performs the five Salaah, observe Sawm in the month (of Ramadhaan) and obeys her husband, she will enter Jannah from any gate she wants.” (Ahmad)

“A woman is Awrah. Whenever she goes outdoors, Shaitaan (Satan) receives her.” (Tirmizi, Ibn Hibbaan and Abu Daawood)

The closer a woman is to Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Ta'aalaa) because of adopting Sunnah based lifestyle, the longer she stays in her home.

The Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “A woman is privacy. Thus, hold her at home. Because, if she is about to go out door, and her kinsmen ask where are you going? She says, ‘I’ll visit a patient, or I’ll attend a funeral. Shaitaan keeps on tempting her until she leaves the house. Thus, if a woman seeks Allah’s pleasure, it is better to her to stay home, worship Allah and obey her husband.” (Ibne Hajar Al-Haithami in Majma’ Al-Zawaa’id)

Hadhrat Ali asked to his wife, Hadhrat Faatimah, the beloved daughter of the Prophet Hadhrat Muhammad (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam): “O Faatimah! What is the best thing for a woman?”

She answered: “Not to see men or be seen by them.”

At one occasion, Hadhrat Ali also said: “Do you not grow jealous; when you let your wives walk among men and see each other!”

Once the Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) was sitting with his female family members, when a Sahaabi (Companion), Hadhrat Abdullah ibne Umme Maktoom who was blind came there, the Prophet (SallAllaho Alaihe WaSallam) said: “Cover yourselves from him.”
(Continued)
 

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