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CARING FOR CHILDREN

Shaikh Abdullaah Saalih Al Qasier

Allahs fearfulness and cautiousness is the best characteristic that one could have in his life and take provisions for the day of return and he should preserve the advice from Allah to him regarding his children for they are the greatest Amaanah (Trust).

Allah says in Quraanic verses which translates as:

Those who faithfully true to their trust and duties and to their covenants and those who strictly guard their Salaah these are indeed are inheritors who shall inherit paradise they shall dwell therein forever (Muminoon:8-11)

Allah says which translates as:

Allah commands you as regards your children. (An-Nisaa:11)

He also says which translates as:

O you who have believed! Ward off yourselves and your families against a fire whose fuel is men and stones over which are angels stern and severe who disobey not from executing the commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded. (At-Tahreem:6)

Additionally Allah says which translates as:

Enjoin Salaah on your family and be patient in offering them, we ask not of you a provision, we provide for you and the good end is for the pious. (TaaHaa:132)

Allah commanded us as regards to our children to properly raise them, encouraging obedience and discouraging disobedience, and to command them and enjoin Salaah on them, and to utilize their times with things that will have pleasant consequences and to punish among them those who stray away and are disobedient and follow their lusts and desires.

The Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said in the Hadeeth that is found in the Musnad of Al Imam Ahmad and Abu Dawood:

Command your children to offer Salaah at age seven and at age ten punish them by hitting if they neglect it then separate between them in bed at the time of sleep.

Caring children and adhering to the command and advise regarding them, starts with the man and women asking their Lord to provide them with the righteous spouse, with good manners and sound faith.

Allah says while praising His servants, as:

Those who say our Lord bestow on us from our wives and our offsprings the comfort of our eyes and make us leaders of the pious (Al-Furqaan:74)

Allah informed us of the story of Prophet Moosaa (Moses) when he saw the girls of the righteous man, who were properly mannered and chaste. He says which translates as:

My Lord! Truly I am in need of whatever good that you bestowed on me (Al-Qasas:24)

This is how we must supplicate to Allah, asking him for a righteous wife that helps in being obedient.

In the book of Al Imam Bukhari and Muslim the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said as reported by Hadhrat Abu Hurairah:

Win the religious wife, may your hand be dismayed with dust.

In the book of Al Imam Tirmizi, he said in a Hadeeth addressing the guardians of women:

If a man comes to you and you are satisfied with his manners and his religion, marry your daughter off to him.

The second issue, which brings about joy and happiness, is that the husband and wife supplicate to Allah for righteous offspring.

As Allah informed us about Prophet Ibrahim, when Allah says that which translates as:

O My Lord make me one who perform Salaah and from my offsprings, O Lord! and accept my invocations (Ibrahim:40)

Prophet Ibrahim also said with Ismail that which translates as:

Our Lord! And make us submissive on to you and of our offsprings a nation submissive on to you. (Al-Baqarah:128)

Allah says regarding Prophet Zakariyah, which translates as:

O My Lord! Grant me from you a good offsprings you are indeed the all hearer of invocations (Aale-Imraan:38)

Allah says when mentioning invocations of parents that which translates as:

If you give us a righteous child we shall indeed be among the grateful (Al-Araaf:189)

This proves that a righteous child is one the greatest bounties and favors from Allah. Why would it not be when the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) mentioned in the book of Al Imam Muslim:

When the son of Adam dies, he loses benefit from his deeds except from three. A charity that is continuous in benefit, beneficial knowledge and a righteous son that supplicates for him.

Adhering to the command and advice of Allah concerning children and family, is to be sincere in supplicating for them to have all good. Not to curse them even at the time of anger, that is because the supplications for or against the child is accepted. Allah informed us about Prophet Ibrahim when he supplicated for his offspring when he said which translates as:

Keep me and my sons away form worshiping idols. (Ibrahim:35)

Therefore, Allah accepted his supplication and made his sons Prophets to guide humankind.

In the book of Imam Muslim reported by Hadhrat Jaabir, the Messenger (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said:

Dont curse yourselves and dont curse your children and dont curse your wealth because you might coincide with an hour of acceptance with Allah, then he accepts the supplications and replies.

Fathers and mothers should take care of their children, raise them righteously to be grateful and they will be helpful and heavier on their scales on the Day of Judgment, even though they might be at a young age because teaching and raising properly from a young age is like someone engraving on rocks, it stays and its effect is lasting.

Hadhrat Hasan bin Ali when he was a young child crawling on the floor took a date from the dates of charity and put it in his mouth. The Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) took it out of his mouth threw it away and said:

Did you not know that we (meaning the household of the Prophet, Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) cannot eat from property of charity.

Hadhrat Amr bin Salamah said:

I was a young boy under the care of the Messenger (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) and my hand use to go around the dish while eating. He said to me: O Boy! Say Bismillah, and eat with your right hand and eat of the dish what is near to you.

Then Hadhrat Amr said:

Since that I have applied those instruction while eating.

And the Prophet also said:

Command your children to observe Salaah at the age seven and at the age ten punish them by hitting if they neglect Salaah and separate them at the time of sleep.

The command of the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) to separate between children at the time of sleep comes as a deterrent to prevent corruption and to bring the attention of the Muslim Nation of their obligations to safe guard and preserve the religion.

It is the right of the children upon parents to be just between them when giving gifts. The Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) said to one man:

Your children have the right on you to be just between them .

The pious Ulamaa of this Ummah used to desire this justice even in the distribution of kisses. The reason for that is, one of the Sahaabah (Companions) specified the child in giving a gift, and wanted the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) to attend to that and testify to it. So the Prophet (Salla Allahu Alaihi Wa Sallam)) said:

Did you do that with the rest of your children.

He said:

No.

The Prophet said:

Wouldnt you like that they all have the same level of dutifulness towards you.

He said:

Yes.

The Prophet said:

Then fear Allah, and be just between your children.

In another narration, he said to him:

Get someone else to testify on this, I do not testify to oppression.

In another narration he said:

I only testify to that which is the truth.

So that Sahaabi (man companion) when back, took that gift back and was just between his children.

So, fear Allah, O Servants of Allah, and adhere and preserve the command and advice of Allah to you concerning your children and remember your position in the day of resurrection. As Allah says that which translates as:

The day when a near relative can not avail another near relative in ought, and no help can they receive (Ad-Dukhaan:41)

May Allah bless all of us with the guidance of the Quraan.
 

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