CHARACTERISTICS OF A
MUSLIM HOME

Shaykh Abdul Baaree Ath-Thubaytee

Every year in some particular days, there are many wedding occasions in which hopes of many youths to establish a happy Muslim home and find therein  honourable shelter and tranquillity are actualized. It is under the roof of this home that another unique generation of righteous children is brought up under the shade of a caring father and affectionate mother. What then, are the characteristics of this home? What is its way? How can it achieve the desired happiness? Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) says:

“And among His signs is that, He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” (Ar-Room 30:21)

Home is a blessing whose value is unknown but to him who has lost one and lived lonely in the darkness of the prison or strayed in the streets or in the desert. Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) says:

“And Allah has made for you in your homes an abode.” (An-Nahl 16:80)

Ibn Katheer said, “Allah mentions the completion of His favour on His slaves by making their homes a place of rest for them where they settle at, under which they take cover and from which they derive other benefits.”

Making of a Muslim home is a trust upon the shoulders of both husband and wife. They are its foundation and its pillars. It is they who define how the home should be. If they both stand firm on the path of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) in word and deed; and they are pious inwardly and outwardly, and take to good manners and conduct, their home will be that of light and virtue, it will illuminate the world for other people and become a birthplace for a new generation, an honourable society and a developed civilisation.

Your home is a fortress of this religion and each one of you stands at a strategic place for Islam in which no place should be left for the enemy to penetrate. Each one of you is a guard of this fortress. The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam) said:

“Every one of you is a shepherd and every one of you shall be called to account for his flock.” He also said, “The woman is a shepherd in the house of her husband and she shall be held accountable for her flock.” (Bukhari)

The household of the Prophet (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam), including his wives who are the mothers of the believers, is the best of all human households. It is a prophetic home that deemed itself far above worldly luxuries and extravagance, adhered to acts of remembrance of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) and recitation of the Quraan, made clear landmarks for its life and laid down for itself the most marvellous example in shunning the mundane pleasure and living a contented life. Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa)’s Messenger (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam) gave his wives options with no coercion, after he had prepared them in a way that would make them live the highest exemplary life. As a matter of fact, Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) revealed a verse in this regard where He says:

“O Prophet! Say to your wives: If you desire the life of this world and its glitter, then come! I will make a provision for you and set you free in a handsome manner (divorce). But if you desire Allah and His Messenger and the home of the Hereafter, then verily, Allah has prepared for good doers amongst you an enormous reward.” (Al-Ahzaab 33:28-29)

Upon hearing these verses, Hadhrat Aaishah as well as other wives of the Prophet (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam) said, “We choose Allah and His Messenger and the home of the Hereafter.” However, this does not mean that, Islam calls to poverty or that the desire for Jannah (Paradise) should necessarily mean total renunciation of the enjoyment of the good things of this world; it is only the most ideal example.

The Muslim home that the first generation of the Muslims established followed the path of Islam in word and deed; characterised its life with the light of eemaan and took to manners preached by the Quraan and hence, produced unique Islamic models that filled the most marvellous and brightest pages of history. The Muslim home then produced brave heroes, outstanding scholars, devoted worshippers, sincere leaders, dutiful children and sincere women worshippers. Such is the characteristic Muslim home when it is built upon the foundation of eemaan and guidance and on the light of the Quraan.

The pure and pious Muslim home protects itself against corruption. Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa)’s Messenger (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam) said:

“Every child is born upon natural religion of (Islamic Monotheism). It is his parents that make him a Jew, a Christian or a Magian.” (Bukhari)

Ibn Al-Qayyim said, “Many children are corrupted by their fathers because they neglect them and do not teach them the obligations of their religion. These children were neglected when they were young, so, they neither become useful for themselves nor for their parents when they grew old.” How beautiful will it be if the father can gather his children and read for them some verses of the Quraan, narrate to them the stories of the Prophets and teach them noble manners!

Among the first priorities of the Muslim home and its noblest mission to the society is to educate children and make out of them a strong and righteous generation. There is however no value for education and admonition without laying down a good example in words and deeds, privately and publicly. Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) says:

“And those who say: ‘Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes and make us leaders of the pious.” (Al-Furqaan 25:74)
You can also reflect on the supplication of Prophet Ibrahim when He said:

“O my Lord! Make me one who offers Salaah and (also) from my offspring. Our Lord! Accept my invocation.” (Ibrahim 14:40)

Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) also says:

“And enjoin the Salaah on your family and be patient in offering them. We ask not of you a provision, We provide for you. And the good end is for the pious.” (TaaHaa 20:132)

It is in the absence of the upright, peaceful and happy Muslim home that corruption grows, that narcotics spread and that the rate of crime among juveniles rise. We even hear of cases of suicide. The home that does not implant faith in the hearts of its young members and in which youths are not following the path of the Quraan produces nothing but psychologically unbalanced, ideologically wasted and morally corrupt elements. Lack of dutifulness to parents, the immoral relationships, deviating from the way of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) and revolt against values and fundamentals that some of the youths of this Ummah suffer from are all definite consequences of a home that neglects spiritual purification and education and lacks good example. The house that follows the ordainments of Islam in parts by taking to what it likes and leaving out what it does not, only creates examples of unserious humans that will never succeeds in elevating the Ummah to her position of leadership and glory.

It is a characteristic of the Muslim home to turn all matters of dispute to Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) and His Messenger (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam); to turn back to Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) and His Messenger (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam) in all matters and to be pleased with and submit to the decision of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa). Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) says:

“It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter, that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error.” (Al-Ahzaab 33:36)

The life of the Muslim and his happiness lie in the Zikr (Remembrance) of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa). The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam) said:

“The example of a home in which Allah is remembered and a home in which Allah is not remembered is like the living and the dead.” (Muslim)

He also said:

“Offer some of your (Nafl i.e. Voluntary) Salaah in your houses and do not take your homes as graves.”

In another Hadeeth, he said:

“Do not turn your homes into graveyard; for Shaitaan (Satan) keeps away from a house in which Sooratul Baqarah is recited.” (Muslim)

He also said:

“Perform supererogatory Salaah at your homes; for the best Salaah that man performs after obligatory Salaah are the ones performed at home.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

These Ahaadeeth show the legality of enlivening and illuminating Muslim homes with words of Zikr (Remembrance) of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) like ‘Laa ilaaha illAllah’, ‘SubhaanAllah’, ‘Allahu akbar’ and the like. They also show the importance of enlivening the homes with as much supererogatory Salaah as possible. If houses are devoid of Salaah and Zikr of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa), they become like a desolate graveyard or abandoned  dilapidated buildings even if they are constructed mansions. Without the Quraan and Zikr of Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa), the houses become inactive and a pasture for devils where their inhabitants have become dead in hearts even if they are living physically.

Among the signs of a Muslim home is that, its members cooperate with one another on righteousness and acts of worship; the weakness of the husband’s faith is strengthened by the wife and the wife’s perversion is corrected by the husband. That is the home where cooperation, mutual admonition and mutual assistance blossom. Hadhrat Aaishah said, “The Prophet would osser Salaah at night and when he had finished his witr, he would say, “O Aaishah, wake up and pray your witr.” (Muslim)

The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam) said:

“May Allah have mercy on a man who wakes up in the night, Offers Salaah; and then awakens his wife and she also offers Salaah. May Allah have mercy on a woman who wakes up in the night and offers Salaah; and then awakens her husband and he also offers Salaah. If he refuses to wake up she sprinkles water on his face.” (Abu Dawood)

These two Ahaadeeth show that, each of the husband and the wife has a role to play in correcting his or her companion and encourage him or her to obey Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa); for the relationship between them is basically founded of eemaan in which there must be mutual cooperation in acts of obedience to Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa).

Muslim home is founded upon knowledge and action; a knowledge that guides to the right path and warns against following ways that lead to Hell. A knowledge that teaches rules of cleanliness and Salaah, good manners and lawful and unlawful things. It is a knowledge that liberates the households from ignorance in matters of religion and from which every individual learns the Islamic knowledge between now and then. Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) says:

“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families a Fire.” (At-Tahreem 66:6)

This verse is the basis for teaching one’s household and commanding them to do righteous deeds and forbidding them from doing evil ones. The commentators said, “It is the obligation of every Muslim to teach his family.” Hadhrat Ali bin Abi Taalib said:

“Teach them knowledge and manners.”

Al-Qurtubi said:

“We must teach religion, righteousness and indispensable manners to our families and children.”

Among the characteristics of a Muslim home is modesty. Modesty protects the foundation of the home from destruction and causes of evil. It is not befitting for a home, established on piety, to have elements of immodesty or be polluted by obscene films, immoral songs, abandonment of Hijaab and copying the enemies of Islam. All this is like a woodworm in the body of the Muslim home and a disaster that opens way for evils and destroys the inhabited structure.

Among the characteristics of a Muslim home also, is that its secrets and differences are always kept within and not spread. The Prophet (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam) said:

“One of the worst men in position before Allah on the Day of Resurrection is a man who cohabits with his wife and she also cohabits with him and he then goes about spreading her secrets.” (Muslim)

The Muslim home relates with the society on the basis of eemaan. It increases in light through visits of righteous people. The believer is like a carrier of musk. He either gives you some, or you by some from him or you get pleasant fragrance from him.

“My Lord! Forgive me and my parents and him who enters my house as a believer and all the believing men and women. And to the wrongdoers, grant You not in increase but destruction.” (Nooh 71:28)

Holders of undesirable beliefs should not be allowed to enter the home of a Muslim; for the entrance of a corrupt person corrupts the house and the visit of a person of doubtful character endangers the children. It is through people like these that many homes become morally corrupted, that sorcery becomes widespread, that cases of theft are found and that happiness is turned to sorrow.

Muslim home fervently offers Salaah and cooperate with one another in household duties. Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa)’s Messenger (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam) has laid an example for us in this. When Hadhrat ‘Aaishah was asked about the things that the Prophet (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam) used to do at his house, she said:

“He was just a human being. He would wash his garments, milk his goat and serve himself.” (Ahmad)

In another narration, she said:

“He used to be in the service of his family and when it was time for Salaah, he would go out and offer Salaah.” (Bukhari)

If anyone of us were to be asked to make a wish in this world, his wish would have been to live in prosperity and have the signs of happiness shown in all parts of his house. This prosperity cannot however be achieved in the Muslim home through luxurious apartments and expensive furniture and clothes. This is a wrong conception of prosperity. Prosperity is only achieved through piety on the part of the spouses and to be conscious of Allah (SallAllahu alaihe wa sallam) in private and public. Happiness is achieved only if the spouses see their marriage as an act of worship in which each of them worship Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) and carries out conjugal duties with sincerity and perfection under the shade of these meanings. The Muslim home is inhabited through constant establishment of Salaah and recitation of the Quraan, shaded by love and harmony and as a result produces righteous offspring who will be source of happiness and prosperity for their parents in this world and the Hereafter. Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa) says:

“Whoever works righteousness –whether male or female– while he (or she) is a(true) believer, verily to him (or her) We will give a good life (in this world) and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Jannah in the Hereafter).” (An-Nahl 16:97)

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