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ISLAMIC WEDDING
Shaikh Saleem Dhorat
Wedding of Hadhrat Fatimah
Hadhrat Fatimah is the youngest of the four daughters of the last Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam). Out of all the children, he was the most beloved to him. He said, ‘The Queen of the ladies in Jannah(Paradise) is Fatimah.’ He also said, ‘Fatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.’
When Hadhrat Fatimah reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come from various noble families. But the Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam) remained irresponsive.
Hadhrat Ali, who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, ‘How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.’ At last, encouraged by the Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam)’s kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Fatimah. The Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam) was extremely pleased and asked, ‘Áli! Do you possess anything to give her in Mahr?’ I replied, ‘Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.’
The Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam) said, ‘A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.’
So, Hadhrat Áli went and sold his armour to Hadhrat Uthmaan for 480 Dirham and presented it to Allah (Subhaanahu wa Ta’aalaa)’s Messenger (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam). Hadhrat Bilal was ordered by the Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam) to bring some perfume and a few other things and Hadhrat Anas was sent to call Hadhrat Abu Bakr, along with some other companions from Muhajereen and the Ansaar.
When these men arrived, the Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam) recited the Khutbah (Sermon) of Nikaah (Marriage) and gave Hadhrat Fatimah in marriage to Hadhrat Ali. He announced, ‘Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Fatimah in marriage to Áli for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Áli has accepted.’ He then raised his head and made Duá saying, ‘O Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.’ After the Nikaah, dates were distributed.
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The "WALEEMAH"
(Wedding Feast) in Islam
Sister Nurul Aiman |
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The Waleemah is a food reception which follows the consummation of marriage, to make the marriage public. It is offered by the parents of the married couple, by their friends, or by the newly married couple themselves. Friends, relatives, and neighbors are usually invited.
The Sahaabi (companion) Hadhrat Anas reported that the Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam) saw a trace of yellow color on the cloths of Hadhrat Abdur Rahman bin ‘Auf, and asked what is this? He answered: “I got married”. Then, the Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam) said, “May Allah make it a blessing for you. Have a Waleemah, even with only a sheep.” (Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmizi, Abu Dawood and Maalik)
Since marriage is such a joyful event for the whole Muslim neighborhood, its celebration has been allowed provided no sinful act is committed in its celebration. According to Hadhrat Aaishah, it is a Sunnah of the Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam) to announce a marriage and to make it in the Masjid.
Some people have begun practicing their local traditions with un-Islamic backgrounds which are completely against Islamic teachings. The tradition of bringing a musical band and dancers to dance before the guests is prohibited in Islam. Another un-lslamic tradition is the use of a gold ring by the groom; this was prohibited by the Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam). Silver rings are allowed for men and women, while wearing gold ornament is allowed for women only. The tradition of trading rings is borrowed from other societies, and Muslims are told not to imitate non-Muslims in such traditions.
A groom should not feel obligated to have an extravagant marriage celebration, as this is a financial burden which could leave him in debt for years to follow. This could in turn discourage men from getting married. Marriage is an occasion for presenting the new family with gifts by relatives and friends. Gifts that are given with sincerity and consent strengthen the love between people. The Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam) said, “Exchange gifts, strengthen your love of one another.” (Tirmizi)
One should always keep in mind the real reason behind giving gifts — to strengthen the mutual relationships between people. Therefore, gifts should be affordable and given to others voluntarily. Unfortunately, most have forgotten this and the gifts have become burdens on those who give them; this weakens relationships between people instead of strengthening them.
People today write down what others have given them and the prices of such presents and then feel obligated to buy that person a gift equal in value. This is completely un-Islamic, and it does not follow the teachings of the Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam). Some vary in their social positions and have different financial statuses, and feeling obligated to buy a gift equal to that presented would soon end close relationships between people of different economic backgrounds. This will in turn build social barriers.
Finally, congratulations are offered to the bride by the women around her and by her relatives and friends; the groom is congratulated by other men. The best of congratulations is that reported by Hadhrat Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam) said to people who got married:
“May Allah make it a blessing for you and a blessing to you, and bring you together with all that is good.” (Tirmizi, Abu Dawood and Al-Hakim)
Marriage is a sacred bond between two people. It binds not only hearts of two persons, but two distinguished extended families. Indeed, a good start in a whole new life as a husband and wife will serve as a strong foundation for the coming future.
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When the time came for Hadhrat Fatimah to go to Hadhrat Ali’s house, she was sent without any clamor, hue and cry accompanied Hadhrat Umm Ayman. After the Salaatul ‘Eshaa (Night prayers), the Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam) went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Hadhrat Ali and Hadhrat Fatimah and made Du’aa for them.
The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.
In this simple way, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.
Some Methods Derived From The Abovementioned Marriage
- The many customs as regards engagement have no place in the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shari’ah and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.
- To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.
- There is nothing wrong in inviting one’s close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.
- It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
- If the father of the girl is an Aalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.
- It is better to give the Mahr as was given to Hadhrat Fatimah and one should endeavor to do so. One can keep the amount of Mehr more than that if he has the capacity, but if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.
- It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.
- It is fallacy to think that one’s respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of the Prophet (SallAllaho alaihe wa sallam)?
- The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shari’ah.
- There is nothing such as engagement parties and Mehendi parties in Islam.
- Great care must be taken as regards to Salaah on occasions of marriage by all — the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
- It is nothing to do with Sunnah to display the bride on stage, even in pure female gatherings.
- The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride’s family in holding a feast has no basis in Shari’ah.
- For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl’s hand and slips a ring on her finger is a clear violation of the Quraanic law of Hijaab.
- It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to go out together before Nikah.
- Three things should be borne in mind when giving one’s daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:
- Presents should be given within one’s means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents
- To give necessary items
- A show should not be made of whatever is given.
- It is Sunnah for the bridegroom’s family to make Waleemah. Whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that there is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred for the event.
- To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.
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